Today, I am reflecting back over my first week being home. My first week of self employment. My first week of being an empty nest, house wife.
Whoa now, there is a sentence of triggers for you! But what exactly does it trigger? (It may not be what you think)
Well, here are some of my thoughts……
First and foremost, I am blessed beyond belief!! Like SERIOUSLY blessed! (Honoring your blessings opens doors for more blessings… take note of that!!!)
My choices. It took me years and many different choices to get here. Choices that I now realize… I made based off of the knowledge that I had in THAT moment. This part is forever changing too… we all learn new things every day! That in itself, makes it good.. nor bad… (take note of that too!)
In my free writing, I feel myself wanting to refer to things as good or bad. In reality it is neither… it just is.
If you’d have used that term with me even a year ago, it would have annoyed me. That answer felt too simple. Not enough substance to it. In my growth, I’ve learned that IT JUST IS. Time is of no essence. What really makes something good or bad? An opinion? A judgement? Really, it just is. How you react to it is what is IMPORTANT.
IT JUST IS
I can feel my ego jumping in to rescue me from making such a decision as to leaving my steady ‘job’. But my ego doesn’t know that it wasn’t in alignment of who I am or what God put me here to do. It just knows it was routine, it was ‘safe’ and steady, it was ‘normal’.
What is normal, anyway?
Do you realize how easy it is to comfort the ego? Just pay attention to it! Acknowledge it and what it is trying to tell you. It really is just that easy. Hold the space to allow it to talk to you. Honor those feelings and really feel them in your body. Acknowledge it and see how the feelings of fear and judgement ease and a sense of contentment will follow. Your heart knows what it needs and what it wants. Your ego will protect your heart from making ‘bad’ decisions. But does that mean they are really bad? Absolutely not! Just different, perhaps.
It appears that we’re living in a time that judgement rules the world and in turn rules us and we seem to allow it… not even realizing it. YOU can change that in yourself. How? By honoring how you truly feel. Allowing ALL of the emotions their own space. Each one is telling you something about who “you are” and what you need. You will find your path is a much nicer journey and will be explored in peace when you do.
Just don’t be surprised if the ego rears back up… when it finds YOU at ease. Just start the process all over again. It will soon tame down and allow you to live in your freedom when you let it know that you aren’t in any “danger”. The only danger comes from ignoring the gift of inner knowing by not listening to what your body is really telling you.
There is a bonus in this whole process… I’ve noticed that I don’t seem to pay attention to the thoughts of others towards me, you know, the judgments and opinions. Honoring my own SELF… gives me power… that allows me to know that others opinions really don’t matter to me. That part is on them!
Reflection……. what a beautiful way of getting to look back and see where you were… and where you are now. In this beauty, you will learn where you want to be. You don’t have to know it all right now… just what needs to come next. Enjoy each step of the journey, even if it feels scary.. it’s something new… that’s where your growth comes from!!!
For me, it’s been a week of ups and downs emotionally. Change is HARD. But I am so blessed to finally understand the communication that goes on within me. I’m learning to take action, to follow my heart and that will lead me to my dreams. The action makes the dreams a reality……
I highly urge you to try it! You just never know where it will take you!